Learning Solitude

It becomes quickly obvious while involved in religious life here in Tanzania that there are no women pastors and we have only met one woman evangelist.  In an act of poor assumption, I simply thought that this was a reflection of a more conservative theology.  While there are certainly differences in theology here (especially when concerning things like interfaith work and the ease with which theology of the cross and a suffering God of hope) this is not really one of them.  It is more of a cultural reflection.  There is no ban on women pastors.  It just simply does not happen.  Pastor Hafermann told us that it is very difficult to live alone as a woman in this cultural first because the values rely so intently on family and second because a woman must be careful of harassment.  So, we were told that men tend to be pastors because it is just more acceptable to general society.  This is both troubling and relieving. I am happy to hear that it is not a reflection of foundational theology but troubled that a woman has to choose her cultural values over vocational calling. I can make no real normative judgment because I have not met a woman here who has told me that she wants to be a pastor and I am not one of those women.  Yet, from my standpoint and cultural understanding, this is a very conflicted answer.  

Well, I am still enjoying malaria.  I think the best way to describe it is that it is like having the flu, if the flu was cognitively trying to hurt you.  Like it had an agenda and was in the mob and was out to get you because you had done something to it's family.  So it is coming at you with the mob.  Right now, I am up and down.  Some moments are really good and others not so much.  It has been nice to lay around for the last couple of days.  I actually got some work done, like last night I wrote my candidacy essay.  Pretty happy with that.  I did go to class yesterday but had to leave periodically to look for medicine underneath the trees. We got to talking a little bit with Kadeghe about Masai life again (it is way nice to distract the teachers at this point). We asked about the jumping and one person suggested maybe a genetic predisposition.  I don't really buy this because then the differences between the races become more concrete and we have the danger of slipping into measuring skull size.  Plus, I think Kadeghe had a good answer for why they are able to jump so high: When they are in the herds they have to jump to count all the cattle and to communicate with each other.  It is very practical.  

I've noticed something over the past couple months having to do with the issue of boredom.  We have often asked teachers what they do for fun or recreation time.  The answer always starts with a puzzled look and clarifying questions.  We then get replies like, " well, there are night clubs."  Kadeghe and Moreto's answers always have to do with women.  It is clear that the main event is simply sitting around and talking.  Getting to know people.  There is something unique about living in a place so unlike home that you don't even have the simplest options of recreation that you had once held so close.  I can really say that I haven't yet experience boredom.  At home, I could always busy myself, but even when all work just melts away here and I sit in silence, I am never bored.  There is always a visitor to greet or a thought to think.  It is hard for US-ians but I think we are learning solitude over loneliness and boredom.