Quick notes, more for me

I spent most of today with Samwel, an evangelist that I met yesterday.  We bonded really quickly over Obama and discussion about our families, as is usual, and spent a good portion of the day playing with my camera-which he still has. ha.  

Steve tore up the soccer field this afternoon.

This evening we went to this prayer and singing service for the convention.  It was so good to her a Masai choir again before we leave.  What an incredible night-everyone who was sick or going through life changes or studying was prayed over and everyone danced and sang.  It was incredibly moving to see so many people excited to join together in prayer.  

The end of the endless summer

Ok. Now the end is really close three more days and the conflicted feeling has continued.  For the most part I think we have all done a pretty good job of getting ready to come home. But I am so excited to see the ways that I haven't been prepared to reenter. Those aspects of reentry which are harder to swallow will reveal the ways in which I have changed the most. It will be exciting to see.  I hope I have changed in my reliance on things and people.  Less on the former and more on the latter. We shall see.  

It is kind of nice right now because many of the people who we have spent the whole semester with have already left.  And the two teachers who are left and the two students, Barry and Douglas, will leave on Friday like us.  So now we are waiting to simply fade out and do the same.  Also, there is the Evangelists' convention going on this week. A good chance to see all of the Church people who we have met in the past three months.  I have spent most of my time at the convention since Monday.  It has been nice to be a little busy and to be surprised by how much Swahili I actually retained.  The convention is like our synod assemblies only I understand nearly nothing here.  The evangelists get a chance to come together and discuss life and catch up.  But also there are these great presentations on things like the Church's response to AIDS and black magic.  The AIDS one was presented by our American friend Barbara.  The basic message was the she was that the Church must advocate and welcome. She said that she was proud of the way that the Morogoro diocese had welcomed these people.  The goal of Church here is to include as many people as possible and have very wide doors.  But what is really wonderful is that this only has to be discussed every now and again.  No one needs the slogan "Open minds, Open doors, Open hearts" because it is already happening. Now, there certainly are problems in the Church and society as a whole in welcoming the other or in having a place for the other. Kilosa is a great example of this and the general treatment of Masai.  Yet, largely, welcoming is simply a part of everything because people are more concerned about each other than about their own securities and junk.  I find it quite refreshing.  The Church is really even a place where Waswahili and Wamasai get together.  I have mentioned this before but where the Church is, there is a comraderie between the two groups.  They see each other as family-the convention illustrates this in the great diversity of people but the fact that they all join together as the Body.  (oh just thought-reminder to myself:write about the way that the relationship between old and young differs from the US to here in my final paper.)  sorry. ok.  But yes. When I get tired of pretending to understand what is going on, I normally step outside to find other young evangelists who are bored.  Many are around my age so we have many things common, and even with the little language divide, we normally have gobs to talk about.  Monday I spoke with this group about marriage in the US and about my time here and leaving and thier thoughts on Obama for about two hours in Swahili.  I find that it does get somewhat taxing.  So I left after a while and hung out with this child of one of the evnagelsits.  He is freakin crazy.  About three years old.  So we ran around like idiots and kicked stuff and messed with cars and things.  Way good.  Yesterday, I ran into Philemon and he had gifts for Steve and I.  That was quite good. Later I had a real good conversation with a very young evangelist.  

As leaving comes so close people seem bummed that we are leaving. I guess you never really know where you stand in these quickly formed relationships until the end is faced. I just really hope I get the chance to come back.  I thought I was sure that I wanted to stay in the US but I am not 100% anymore.  We shall see.  The evangelists ask about this a lot and they always say Mungu anajua.  Very true.  

In the evening we went to Rohit and Mamta's place.  It was a little hard to find as our navigator lost the way. ha. But we had such an incredible time-cold beer and soda.  Indian snack food and Amarula soaked mangos and bananas.  So good.  The conversation was amazing.  They gave us some great advice about grad school.  It is so good to have intelligent conversation-between the Americans it gets a little redundant.  Oh, and they live in Michigan for the time being and spend some time in Chicago so if the LSTC thing works out, they talked about coming to visit.  That is so exciting.  Well, I am going to go live my last few days here. I will try to write again. but if i don't, thanks for reading.  This has been such an incredible experience and I can't wait to share it with you all face to face.  Baadaye.

Our last weekend

That's right. It is really hard to believe and harder to say. We have finished our last weekend here.  I think the strategy for leaving is to kind of just fade away. There was not a whole lot going on and this week there isn't much going on either.  The fade away is kind of nice as this weekend gave us all time to reflect as will the rest of this week.  But of course, it is difficult too. No one is around the seminary so it is just this empty place and there is this conference going on on campus but we don't know our place with it so we are just kind of hanging around and waiting.  Thinking a lot which is both good and bad.  It is nice to reflect and to think that soon we will be with you but also chances are that most of us may not see this country again.  What a weird time. Really.

So this Saturday was really a giant lazy day.  All still a bit groggy from the vacation, we just laid around and talked, wrote and read a little and did some prep for the evangelist's conference.  I did get to count soap that they were going to give as a gift to the evangelists, but there was not enough.  Later we pinned paper to other paper and watched Amistad.  The movie was great. Made me want to read a book or something.  And, I mean I know that we have no idea about the real African experience, we have only lived here for three months, but actually knowing people did bring the movie a little closer.  Surprisingly so.  Parts were really quite difficult to watch not because of any greatness on our own part or disbelief about the capacity of humans to harm but because more people in the world have faces for us now.  

Sunday, we went to the prison near the campus Kignolwe or something close to that.  We worshipped with the inmates and the prison community and watched a class get confirmed.  This process, like many of the rituals here, was a bit more joyous than at home.  At home we sit very reserved and the confirmands, for the most part, could really not care any less than they do.  But here, they were given front row seats of honor and confirmed as they knelt, like normal.  But as soon as the announcement was made that the affirmation was complete, the congregation blew up.  People shouted and clapped and sang.  The families basically rushed the stage to pose for pictures.  The pastors let this go on for a little while but then had to step in once the insanity cooled a little.  It is things like this that I have gotten very used to that will be difficult to turn my back on.  There was also a baptism of this Masai inmate who was so happy we had come and called us friends of the Masai.  The inmates at the prisons we have visited have a whole different demeanor than those at home.  Now, I know that there are still huge abuses and problems in the justice system here. Every week there are reports of some Masai being beaten or another person being killed in prison, by either inmates or prison guards.  But I do not think this has happened recently at the prisons we have visited.  The inmates speak well of their rehabilitation and are learning life skills.  They are genuinely happy when they see us and are trusted, as much as seems prudent, around the families of workers and at church.  There are even tons of kids in these communities and no one is afraid.  The inmates take pride in the beautiful grounds and are even trusted with no gates.  That's right, there are no gates at the prisons we have been to.  A very different thing.  

After prison, we just waited for a job from Luka.  We are not sure what the boundaries are for our participation in the conference and don't want to overstep them but would really like to go to it.  No job came last night. I am sure, with the bit of a language barrier, we would have been more trouble than we were worth. But today I need to be sure to find Pr. Hafermann to ask what we are allowed to attend.  It will be nice to see all the evangelists one more time. Even stopping by for a few minutes yesterday lead us to reunite with so many friends we have met.  I hope the rest of the week is closer to that and we can get out of the room a little bit.  

In the evening Steve and I watched the Masai movie with Kadeghe, Moreto, Jimmy and a few friends from the conference.  Surprisingly, they really really liked it.  I thought it was good too.  There were a few hokey parts but Kadeghe and Moreto both thought there were definite accuracies in it. Like some do believe that the red god manifests himself in a lion.  And there is a blessing where the warriors have milk spit on them.  Well, alright.

I guess it was also nice yesterday to get some meditation time.  I did this so much in the beginning and it was one of my original goals but it kind of fell away.  It is things like this that I want to and really kind of need to bring home with me.  I wrote down ideas on how to bring the different attitude toward life and spirituality home with me in my little black notebook thing.  I will have to remember to look at those.

Ok, I am heading off. Still stuck in this weird place between here and home. Tim    

Luka's hospitality

Luka is very passionate about hospitality.  When we are in the villages, he is always the one making sure that everyone is receiving proper treatment from the host.  He welcomes everyone to come eat with us and ensures that all have enough even before he eats.  This is certainly not lost at his house.  We went tonight to finish off the gift of fresh fish we got from Kassidi, our tour guide.  Luka and his family welcomed us like family.  Rehema was there to usher us in and we were greeted by Luka's friend and cousin, Andrew.  The guest is not made to do any work except for that which, without would make the time awkward. Luka runs around the house with Emy making sure all is in order and he parades the kids in front of us to welcome us.  The food is brought out by Emy and Rehema and it is delicious.  Luka serves all of us first and brings us cold soda.  Then he converses with us while he runs around caring for the other among them.  The kids from around are welcomed to enjoy the amazing food.  No one goes hungry when Luka is around.  He embodies hospitality.  We were even welcomed into family devotions.  Things like this make strong bonds.  We were all brought to tears by the end as we are leaving soon and all know that God exists between us.  The welcome was incredible both toward us and the others all around.  There is abundance and care in the kingdom.  

the zanz

Hey all.  Well, we spent the last week in Zanzibar and it was incredible.  So good to have a little break from the normal before heading home.  There is a lot to cover from the holiday and I have neither the time and energy to capture it all.  There is much to be done for the evangelist convention next week.  But I did write a long stream of consciousness about Zanzibar when we were on the beach on Tuesday night.  I can copy parts of that down.  I hope it makes sense.

...It is true that a person will be afforded with more opportunities if they are allowed more space to do so.  Yet, most of our experiences have been experienced by many before us.  Does this cheapen the experience? No. For it is the subtle things that we see that others have not and that we have not seen that others have and wil that make every individual experience uniquely rich.  Subtleties make all the difference.  

It is from a chair (on which others have sat) on a porch (on which others have thought) in a hotel (in which others have rested) on a beach (upon which others have played and mused and wondered) swallowed by an ocean (upon which countless others have sailed) that I write these words and think these thoughts.  But there was a wave just now which no one has heard lap up against the sand.  There was a particle of salty air that was just now sucked up my nostrils which no one has ever breathed before.  Subtleties.  

This frees me very much to be able to write to you about the last two days in Zanzibar.  There is no urge to make more valid my experience by demeaning the experiences of others. In truth, much of our experience is the same.  

(It gets real stream of consciousness-y here. Really the only way to cover everything.)  

Hurry up and wait. We entered the boat like olympians and came to the big couches-all small muffin trays.  We made our way out to save ourselves from crusty tops and melted blueberries.  The side of the vessel brought us near the water.  The frightened passenger frew a heart for courage.  No food was lost over the edge.  The water a longing iris staring at it's lover. A head band pick pocketed.  The rooks protecting the sultanate were easy to win over.  Our guide off the boat appears like a great and wise ancestor from time to time, when the family needs his protection and advice.  They were right-a different world.  Arab architecture grabs your face and jolts your neck BACK Back back.  The action is dangerous on those Narrow Streets.  It felt at first a little like walking into an old Muslim story.  I'm still waiting for my carpet.  Wazungu are difficult people to see. I wonder if they think at all about the classification of TZ as part of the 6th world or about the overthrowing of the sultanate or of secession or of the oppression of minority religions (little girls in hijab, no legal protection, loss of inheritance, shit on the altar?)?  I wonder if they have thought about the slave trade-Arabic European American? I wonder if they think we should reach a foundational level right away in dialogue between Muslim and Christian leaders or if the practical hands and hearts dialogue is enough?  Have they hear of Upendo House-the non profit that gets Muslims and Christians together in a safe work environment to learn about each other?  Or are they here only to disrespectfully wear short shorts and buy cheap wood and fruit and benefit from a nation of service?  Am I?:  That tinga tinga is cool.   I do get a kick out of Christian Muslim relations.  Are my fetishes just weird versions of the excess fetishes of the other wazungu?

As a tourist: Dinner after Upendo house was good but more expensive than it was worth.  But Zanzibar is a food and spice island and the tall indicaions of that are everwhere.  The day was 80 and sunny. We marketed after the food and bought art and some fresh fish. Probs the most delicious that I have ever had.  The rainy wet narrow streets were excellently beautiful walking to our dala dala.  The smell-not so nice but the sight of rain off the roofs gave me chills.   Today we woke up with Ellen in the bed room.  Off from her to breakfast-mayai and mikate.  From here to the slave trade building and the Anglican cathedral whose steeple stands tall next to a star and crescent.  The church is architectually and spiritually beautiful. Built by freed slaves with no experience so they could go get fundi jobs after the work was finished. The giant doors are hinged with large Indian metal swirls.  There is a stained glass piece on the opposite wall of the baptism of the Ethiopian Eunuch.  Very important myth here.  When the doors shut it is brilliant.  Back pillars are upside down thanks to the unskilled workers and all along the sanctuary there are stained glass windows offered to the heart by the comrades of Livingstone.  Sting ray tails whip the backs of slaves and turn the marble red.  Spice tour was good-no idea that stuff grew on trees.  

After eating and drinking juice from a tangy purple seed fruit tree, buying some more art and letting Steve poop we went in a giant hurry to the coast.

We met the ocean in a light drizzle but no matter, I have never been so swept away by anything that couldn't verbalize mutual love.  There was rain all day but I have not cared.    We walked up and down her soft sand, picking up Zanzibari gravel which I will keep and give to church kids.  I don't really know what to say.  I felt like a child next to it.  Beautiful.  Wild and courageous. Loud and nurturing.  Graceful and upset.  I didn't even know what to do.  I giggle when I look at it and want to be closer to it even now.  The taste even captivates me.  

After octopus and prawns, Steve and I night swam.  Terrified of what touched our bodies, we moved far into the tide, up to the nerts.  I kept putting ocean in my mouth and crouching in it's warmth and squinting into the distance.  Obviously unable to see the waves pound the coral and bound by the reef.  I wanted to stay forever.  

I was stopped by Josef-a Moreni on the beach.  At first, as just another Mzungu .  Soon the Swahili turned back on completely and I told him about home and what we were doing.  He is from Arusha but stays near Morogoro.  He and his buddies came to sell bracelets on the island.  I told him we stay at LJS and he said "Oh, you are KKKT?  Me too!!!"  Handshakes followed and I asked if he knew Mch.  Yes! Of course.  We talked about Morogoro as he called his friends over to tell them that I know Mch.  They were all KKKT from Makature.  We have been to this village.  It is the one where we bought a goat for Philemon.  We talked and joked for a while and ran into them several more times.  It is so easy now to talk to and relate to Masai.  I feel like friendships form quickly with them.  It starts with their trust and welcoming and is continued by the fact that we know so many people in common.  

The rest of the trip was spent in the ocean. Snorkeling was incredible and star fish move fast.  We bonded over a beer with Luka and had a lot of time to reflect and watch the ocean.  On the way back Peter fainted.  We have learned now that he has Malaria.  I hope it passes soon so he can enjoy the rest of the trip.   

Vom

Well, it has been quite the few days since I wrote you last.  Thursday we took our final test.  It was a little nerve racking but I think we all did ok.  We haven't received the results yet.  I kind of hope we don't until we return from Zanzibar.  Gets the blood going.  A little excitement on our trip.  Thursday night was a huge adventure.  Steve and I went to town and by the time we returned I felt pretty terrible.  I tried to speak Swahili with Moreto and Kadeghe to no avail-chemsha bongo like crazy.  I tried to go to dinner but turned right around and even walked out on the new American student Douglas as he was talking with me.  There is no stopping to talk when vomit wants to make a visit.  Turns out, there is this strand of the flu that passed through the secondary school last week and I was the lucky person to bring it to the language school.  I have never vommed so much in my life.  Happy thanksgiving.  So I skipped out while the other Wartburgers watched this Masai video and vommed until about 2 in the morning.  Friday was spent in bed while I slowly recovered.  It did give me time to think.  I thought about the ways I have been changed and challenged here and decided that it is too early to tell.  The challenges are evident: being faced with solitude and also more community than I am used to, finding help in the stranger, trusting people, living more simply than at home, learning to live in peace with people I may not particularly like, accepting hospitality when my Western self just wants to do it all on my own, seeing flaws in myself like my self absorbed-ness, realizing a little more clearly to where I am called was even hard and the list goes on.  But I am not sure yet how I have been changed by this.  Other students here can easily name a lot of ways in which they have changed but I can't.  Really, I know I have somehow and I will be able to see it and name it eventually so it doesn't bother me.  Honestly. Hamna shida.  It is just interesting.  I guess I am not as introspective as many people.  Different strokes for different folks.  

Today, nimepata nafuu. I am doing much better.  I am certainly not 100%, as it is still a little hard to eat but after an entier day in bed drinking nasty salt and sugar water I am feeling pretty good.  I was a pretty relaxing Saturday.  Read a little in the morning.  Then spent a long time in the afternoon in Morogoro.  I will defs miss the dala dala.  Random community at its best.  Sara and I went to get some money for Zanzibar, but he trip turned out to be super long and wonderful mostly because we didn't want to leave the city knowing that it would be one of our last times there.  So we walked around and came around this kanga shop.  Hung on the door was a yellow kanga with two maps of Africa on the left and right and a huge picture of Obama in the center: "Hongera Barack Obama."  The bottom says, "Love and peace have come from God." HA! Of course, I went in and got this.  Peter and I are going to split either side of it.  It is super good and it led to a really nice conversation about unity between our two continents with the shop owner.  People are so hopeful that there will be an improvement in relationships.  I hope so too.  After this we just spent a long time walking around.  It was really nice.  The dala dala on the way home was the smallest one we had ever ridden in.  Mr. Hand Some was the name on the back.  

This evening, after tea, I just spent a long time in Jimmy's room with him and Moreto and a couple of younger students who I don't know.  We listened to music and talked about Moreto's 400 girl friends.  Way good.  It was a nice room with electricity.  Jimmy's pretty upset about us leaving and I am too in some ways.  

All of us will certainly miss the times like these but I think we are doing a good job preparing to go home.  The reverse culture shock will be something but we are kind of all excited to see how we react to it.  I guess talking to people about the US and hearing from them a few of the good thing that it has done has made me a little more level headed in my criticisms.  I am curious to see if my response coming home will be a loud opposition again to a life style of consumption and fear or a gentler withdraw from participation.  Maybe somewhere in the middle.  We'll see.  This thinking is certainly sparked by the tragedy in Long Island.  I feel more shock than anything.  I just think I don't know how to respond.  This entry was a lot of stream of consciousness so I am sorry if it was hard to follow.

Random culture thing: Luka is trying to play cupid between these two evangelists who tots dig each other.  But a problem has arisen.  There is a dispute between the families about the bride price.  Mch. talked to Sara and I about it today.  Apparently this happens a lot.  There is certainly value in tradition and this one used to be rather playful and brought families together but now it makes it very hard to marry.  There are a lot of children born out of wedlock because of it.  People simply get fed up and they give up and either leave each other or go against their family's will.

Quick about today

First, I forgot to mention yesterday that the men served nearly everything.  That was odd.

We returned to the village in the hills today.  It is a shame. I can never remember the name of the village by the time I write.  Oh well.  The beginning of our time here was somewhat odd.  It began again with the hospitable welcome but very few people were around so we just sat in the old church-a grass roof building held up by wood.  The elder pastor who we travel with from time to time fell asleep next to me in the chair.  Many of the people from yesterday joined us on this journey.  After the excitement, we were all very tired.  But eventually Steve and I sucked it up and walked to play with kids.  Nearly none were afraid of us since they had met us before and by the time we left Sara was surrounded by girls asking her to stay.  It is obvious that the children feel most comfortable around women whenever we go.  Steve and Peter and I have ot seek the kids out while Sara is flocked to.  But the kids always end up warming up to us.  We just have to show them a few tricks.  Well, Steve shows tricks, I just show off my double jointed thumb and the nasty inside part of my lip ring.  That's a winner.  Every single Masai child makes the same noise when they see it.  Something like "eeeEEEEEEEEE."  It's like they had a conference.  We did meet this young kindergarten teacher today-Francis.  He was a lot of fun to talk to.  I just pretend that I know something about soccer and then wait for the conversation to steer toward Obama.  He was also really interested in colloquial English.  Things like "gonna" and "hafta" and "come'ere."  Apparently he is quite the teacher.  I guess many of the children from this village go on to primary school with no problem.  Many already know how to read and write when they get there thanks to him.  Some even skip the first grade.  People in these villages are often so bright.  

After worship we had an auction to raise money to finish this church.  Older men came from five surrounding villages because they consider this their church.  They raised nearly 2,000,000 tsh.  Incredible.  Hopefully this will inspire people to go back to their own villages and start campaigns to get more local churches.  There is such pride in the place of worship.  People are so dedicated to the community and are so willing to work hard for the growth of the people around them in the Church.  This is demonstrated in the incredible giving but can be felt in interpersonal relatinships, hospitality and worship itself.

The choir at this church is amazing.  They compete and do quite well.  It is the one that I wrote about which is led by a young girl and they write their own music.  So good.  

When we enter villages we are strangers.  When we leave, close friends.